Iseya, Kichijoji いせや、吉祥寺

Kichijoji’s Iseya is not only a yakitori classic, but also a Tokyo classic. Well loved, well known and much frequented it is, however, not all that it is purported to be.

Located at the top the flight of stone steps leading down into the leafy confines of Inokashira Park, opposite Toriyoshi and Gin no Saru (two other izakaya worthy of mention for their popularity if nothing else), Iseya Sohonten (the other recently sanitized and thus ruined iteration is nearby, somewhat closer to the station) billows smoke into the street by dint of the charcoal grills at the front of the shop churning out mountains of yakiton (skewered pork innards) for queues of expectant, hungry customers.

This yakitori-ya’s reputation precedes it. After all, it has been in business since 1928, first as a butcher’s shop and then from 1958 as a yakitori-ya, as the building and interior bare testament to. It’s dilapidated, dirty (just visit the toilets!), smokey and immensely “old skool.” Those that reside in these blessed isles, and those that live in Tokyo more so, and those that have a thing for “traditional izakaya” even more so, love this kind of decrepit hangover from “better days,” when Japan was more Japanese and Japanese cuisine, and thus izakaya more generally, had yet to be tainted by the culinary incursions of colonialists and “ethnic” dishes from the mysterious regions of Asia.

Admittedly, the old-style, basic aspect of the shop brings to mind a simpler, somehow more authentic, working-class dining experience. You can almost imagine occupation-era U.S. military types and pan-pan girls negotiating a night’s intimacy through the choking smog of smoking chicken fat. Don’t get me wrong; it’s all good stuff. Great fun. It’s just not what it’s cracked up to be. Very much a case of the Emperor’s new clothes.

The interior is all creaky floors, warped beams and stained, curling posters and menu slips. Service is to the point, hurried and for the most part amicable. Generally always heaving, you can book in advance, the atmosphere is lively, even raucous. Old-timers perch at the counter enveloped in smoke, while everyone else enjoys whatever bench they are awarded.

Drinks are limited. Beer, unnamed instantly forgettable sake, shochu (accompanied by plum syrup served in old whiskey bottles) and sours etc. The food menu is basic, mostly yakitori standards and other skewered morsels (read offal) derived from the carcasses of pigs. The sashimi is best avoided, as I hope you would expect.

And it is the food, not the whole point perhaps but still an important factor, that enjoys near mythical and utterly unjustified renown. It is, at best, passable. Sure, it’s cheap. Tastes okay, or at least doesn’t induce nausea. But is surpassed in both quality and quantity by a myriad of other yakitori-ya. Some dishes, the liver in particular, are especially bad. Presentation isn’t even considered, and is not made up for by the flavour. The stand out dish is easily the handmade gyoza, which for a shop famed for its skewered chicken and pork nankotsu is almost shameful.

Jimmy Dean had this to say about Iseya, while Marxy helps perpetuate the myth here.

Still, it is fun. A glimpse and, more than likely, a real taste of the past. A past before Michelin stars and restaurants aimed at monied expats. Go for the atmosphere, go for the surroundings, just don’t expect to go back for the food.

Tel: 0422-43-2806

Mitsuyadoseimen, Shimo-Kitazawa ミッ矢堂製麺,下北沢

Following the sad discovery of the Frisco Grill’s demise, I wandered the streets of Shimo-Kitazawa forlorn. Sure, I was pissed off that the burger I wanted to eat was beyond my reach, but I was also gagging for a beer. And that only made me think of Masako, and how cruel the world, well Japanese train operators/construction companies, can be.

Anyway, before too long I passed a tsukemen place, and as it was packed I figured it must either be really cheap, pretty good, or perhaps a bit of both. So it was that I ended up having cold noodles dipped in a soup of my choice at Mitsuya-Doseimen.

It’s a chain, something to do with the Mitsuya people that make “cider,” I guess. Simple shop, clean, wood floors and plain walls adorned with beer posters. No smoking before 5pm, plenty of old folk and families slurping their noodles. Fairly wide range of dishes on offer, but I was hungry and in no mood for deliberation. The spicy looking tan-tan goma (sesame) tsukemen looked good.

And so it was. ¥980 for a well proportioned bowl (although the price is set, you can opt for a small, medium or large portion) of cold, firm, slightly flat noodles topped with onion and some kind of leaf. This was accompanied by a bowl of orange, spicy Thai tan-tan-like soup, laced with good clean bits of chicken. It was just spicy enough to please, without overpowering the taste of the noodles themselves. Beer was overpriced.

I don’t know much about noodles, certainly not as much as this Cowboy, but I came away full and happy, despite having worn a paper bib…

Tel: 03-5790-8038

Yakitori Tetsu, Shibuya 焼き鳥テツ、渋谷

Yakitori Tetsu is cheap and convenient. Being located near Shibuya station’s Hachiko exit, at the side of Mark City and a block away from American, it’s useful when in need of a quick drink or bite to eat when the heavens are pouring or better places a full.

Not a large yakitori-ya, so few are, the atmosphere is often cosy and the service is for the most part friendly. One member of staff in particular provides recommendations from the menu (posted upon the walls) and sage advice on all manner of things ranging from chicken wombs to football, all in excellent English. This half-Japanese charmer was revealed to me when at the time of my first visit I ordered “tori reba” (chicken liver) to which he replied “tori liver ne,” pronouncing the V perfectly.  Surprised, I asked if he spoke English. Turns out he lived in London for a couple of years. Nice guy. Nice Vs.

Décor is simple. Square counter around open kitchen, a few tables and stools. Somewhat industrial and sparse looking. For the most part clean. Customers are a good mix of young and old, sharp and dowdy. The staff are young and hip in a counter-culture should have been a NEET manner.

It’s cheap, very. But in a way that ends up being not such a great deal. Drinks, draft beer, umeshu, shochu and wine are at usual prices, but the yakitori is for the most part all ¥120 a piece. Trouble is that’s for just one small, shrivelled looking serving (see photos). Yep, one stick (and not a long one either).

The range of yakitori classics on offer is good; for the most part you’ll not be disappointed or surprised. It’s all rather average. Tastes okay, but fails to inspire. The karaage is not so bad, but this costs around ¥500, rather than the ¥120 most that most other dishes do.

Of note is the half-formed chicken egg with the womb still attached. Looks disgusting, alien even, but tastes okay if you close your eyes. That said I’m not sure I’d ever want to have it again.

Good for a drink, with tiny yakitori nibbles as a snack rather than a meal.

Tel: 03-3462-7262